Thursday, September 16
What Is Love?
I have the urge to write about love, partially due to the movie Becoming Jane, but also because I feel so incredibly blessed every day to truly love another person and to know what that love feels like in return. I cannot imagine my life without my husband, and I hope he knows it each and every day. Love cannot be defined by any one word or phrase; even the Bible has many words that only attempt to describe it. I believe it is, ultimately, undefinable by anyone but the lover, because it is different for each person. But to me, it is an emotion as well as a commandment, and it is not the same thing as being in love. To me, love is what I feel my entire life toward my spouse (or, at least, I should!), but being in love is more akin to the beginning infatuation with another person. For me, love is being unable to imagine what my life would be like if my husband were no longer in it, and the thought of such a notion brings me to tears. Love is knowing that his happiness is more important than my own, because we share joy and we share grief--when one is affected, the other is touched as well. Love cannot be forced, although many have tried to do so over the years: royalty married for power, poor women were married to wealthy men for status and security of her family, wealthy men arranged the marriages of their daughters, and so on. In some cultures, it still happens today. Can you imagine what that would be like? It's a horrible thought! I'm so grateful to have been able to choose freely the one man who understands my personality, sense of humor, and mood swings! There is nothing better. No amount of money in the world can buy what God has created between me and my husband, and no amount of money will make our relationship stronger or better...that can only be done by hard work, as well as complete and total devotion to the other person. Thankfully, we both have a relationship with Christ, and while that doesn't assure an easy, stress-free or "discussion"-free marriage, it does allow us to work through things upon which we may disagree. I am blessed with the kind of relationship with a man that I always secretly hoped for but never dared ask God for, and I don't know why I was given such a great gift, but I know better than to ever take it for granted. When I imagine what my life would be like to have never married, or to have settled for someone else, it makes me so sad...oh, all that I would have missed! And, heaven forbid that it should all end tomorrow, I like to think that I would live with the comfort of the love that I had for a short time, content that I had experienced the kind of relationship that so many others can only dream about, being married to the best friend that I would ever know. There is no other relationship that can be substituted for that! Thank you, my husband, for the privilege and honor of being your beloved and devoted wife.